Battle, n:
A method of untying with the teeth a political knot that will not yield to the tongue.
--Ambrose Bierce

Wisdom is rarely found on the best-seller list.

"My name is Sue! How do you do?! Now you gonna die!"
Well, I hit him hard right between the eyes,
And he went down, but to my surprise,
Come up with a knife and cut off a piece of my ear.
So I busted a chair right across his teeth,
And we crashed through the walls and into the streets,
Kickin' and a-gougin' in the mud and the blood and beer.
Now I tell you, I've fought tougher men,
But I really can't remember when:
He kicked like a mule and he bit like a crocodile.
But I heard him laugh and then I heard him cuss,
And he went for his gun, but I pulled mine first,
And he sat there lookin' at me, and I saw him smile.
He said: "Son, this world is rough,
And if a man's gonna make it he's gotta be tough,
And I knew I wouldn't be there to help you along.
So I give you that name and I said goodbye,
And I knew you'd have to get tough or die,
And it's that name that's helped to make you strong!
-- Johnny Cash, "A Boy Named Sue"

I use technology in order to hate it more properly.
-- Nam June Paik

It is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at one time.

Q: Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
A: You do all of the work and the fat guy in the suit
gets all the credit.

A billion here, a billion there -- pretty soon it adds up to real money.
-- Sen. Everett Dirksen, on the U.S. defense budget

Dime is money.

"Use what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best"

I just forgot my whole philosophy of life!!!

Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

FROM THE DESK OF
Rapunzel

Dear Prince:

Use ladder tonight -- you're splitting my ends.

"His eyes were cold. As cold as the bitter winter snow that was falling outside. Yes, cold and therefore difficult to chew..."

You measure democracy by the freedom it gives its dissidents, not the freedom it gives its assimilated conformists. --Abbie Hoffman